So the do gooders and wannabe Florence Nightingales have won through. Brave, battling Boris brow beaten by the Bolsheviks and that London Mayor Khan. Weary from swashbuckling his way through Brexit negotiations, he brought his battle scared Lancaster down only to be blindsided by a enemy from within.

Proper patriots spent Christmas tucking into Turkey and pulling crackers while the entire left wing spent it trying to come up with a way to hurt Brexit.

Well you can’t. As a nation we are going to come together over wrenching our way out the EU and celebrate.

Pressure Boris to lock us down with your “virus” all you want and we’ll just wait. You lock us indoors we’ll build bunting. Tell us we can’t go to the shops and we’ll dig for victory. Stop us working and we’ll start up online deposits of knowledge (like this one)

Unlike the shirking left and work shy students we aren’t afraid to muck in and get our hands dirty which is why I make this offer now. I will personally volunteer at any hospital or medical establishment that needs me. Be it to perform routine operations or consultation I’ll be there. The offer goes out to schools that are populated by cowardly teachers, I’ll come there. Me and the lads will come to you’re school and teach you a thing or two!

So “nurses” and “teachers” your move.