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Old Tom

Sir Captain Tom Moore has died the way he lived. Sticking two fingers up at the snowflakes and Charlatans who populate our media by living life to the fullest.

Captain Tom, no doubt a heroic Brexiteer who enjoyed nothing more than giving Jerry a good kicking, raised the spirits of this great country while misers like Corbyn tried to drown us in a sea of bleakness.

He was rightly knighted, as all soldiers should be, and should be given a state funeral with all the trimmings. There’s nothing that’ll stick in the craw of the rabid lefty wolves trying to tear this country apart than the Royal Navy giving one of the nations heroes a 21 gun salute.

A statue is of course a given. To not build one would be blasphemous and heretical. Not building one would essentially mean admitting the Treaty of Versaille was imposed on the wrong side. Not building one would be so much of an affront to the British armed forces that I for one would encourage a military coup.

We don’t just need a statue we need a 200ft walking replica of the war hero. We need his eyes blazing with the firey vigor of Brexit, his fingers to crackle with the potent electricity patriotism and each step should echo with the sounds of Rule Britannia!

Yes Captain Tom will have commemoration and any who oppose will be dealt with in the way Old Tom would have dealt with a dirty Traveller boy stealing apples from his tree back in the 40s….

They’ll be shot


Published by battlcomedy

General agitator. Probable traitor. Enjoys the finer things in life like Skol Super on a Sunday.

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