Tied up

So she’s tied old “tadger” Johnson down has she? Well he’ll simultaneously like that and hate it! If you catch my drift.

The wedding was held in secret, so secret in fact that Carrie’s bridesmaids didn’t know about it. Probably for the best with dashing Boris suited and booted there could have been a few wandering eyes.

The cads cad has been shackled and we the Great British public love it! I, for one, will be listening with a ear to the proverbial door for the sounds of Johnson getting up to his usual tricks!

What japes indeed as Carrie chases yet another member of the “below stairs” class out of her bedroom! Old “pounder” Johnson will probably have his own special frying pan she clouts him with!

I can see it now: “Big Boy Bojo” on his last warning from Carrie has got an war council meeting with the UN over what to do about nuking China. One of the busty serving girls spills some fine Brandy on his lap.

“Dang and poppleshank!” Johnson will exclaim, whipping his trousers off in a flash in a effort to protect his undergarments from soaking. Maintaining his dignity while the busty serving wench tries to desperately clean him up, Ballsy Bojo doesn’t see the dog under his feet and trips over the cheeky pup….straight into the busty barmaids exposed cleavage. Just as Carrie enters carrying a roll of carpet she wants Johnson to run his wandering eye over!

Carrie immediately fears the worst but is placated as Johnson delivers a rousing speech from deep within the bosom! And at the flickering of that well worn tounge the battle is won! Removing his head to rousing applause from the other delegates causes him to become the showman once more and bows theatrically before twinkling his eyes at Carrie who promptly faints through sexual exhaustion

Now why don’t Netflix make a movie outta that instead of pushing the Liberal agenda down our throats with things like “Tiger King”

Published by battlcomedy

General agitator. Probable traitor. Enjoys the finer things in life like Skol Super on a Sunday.

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