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Driving Licence

Friends! Brexiteers! Patriots! Lend me your ears. Like 2016 we must once again band together and save this country, Christmas and it’s soul. The devilish EU on collusion with traitorous Remainers have seen to it that van drivers all over the UK are being recalled for new orders.

In a foul attempt to drag Britain to its knees haulage firms have begun bleating about relaxing visa rules for foreign workers. Not only would this be a betrayal of Brexit but a knife to the heart of the hard working patriots who have striven to make this great nation great again.

Saving Britain shouldn’t be about allowing a few hundred Turks in to distribute Amazon deliveries but should be the perogative of the thousands of Brits just itching to get behind the wheel! Me and the lads have been knocking our heads together and think we’ve got it.

We take all the homeless lads, give em a quick wash and stick em on the motorways! Most of the lads are ex-military anyway so they’ll know how to drive a waggon.

Put em in the HGVs and send em on thier way! It solves two problems instantly and slaps the face of leering labourite Kier Starmer.

For to long the feckless have got away with roaming our streets asking for change, well we’ll give em the biggest change of thier lives!

Into the breach once more!


Published by battlcomedy

General agitator. Probable traitor. Enjoys the finer things in life like Skol Super on a Sunday.

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