As the Conservative Party Conference gets into full swing I look forward to a number of scheduled events that will no doubt titilate the attendees and shove one in the eye of the woke.
- Fish Out The Deadwood With John Redwood- Conservative behemoth and all round fishermans friend hosts a six hour discussion on the ways you can trim your workforce (and shed those Lefty layabouts) just like the fishing industry has done.
- Trust With Truss- A positive reaffirmation seminar with our preppy Foreign Secretary! Join in as audience members fire suggestions for policy at our Liz and she positively embraces them wholeheartedly. Even if the previous suggestion contradicts it.
- Down With Dowden- Learn breakdancing with Minister Oliver Dowden. Looks like it’s not only the Left that can have a good time!
- Punching Down With Priti- As a follow up to her widely successful talk last year (Stepping On The Little Man) Patel tells it like it is with no one from the shirking left to the revolutionary woke able to escape her assaults. Like a Apache lining up a boatload of migrants this can’t be missed
- In The Big House, my Time as PM- The event we’ve all been waiting for a hour of Stand up from The Right Honourable Boris Johnson. For fans of Boris, Manning and Brown be prepared to call for austerity (on the laughter) as BJ splits your sides with tales from his bonkers years in power. From hiding in fridges to shaking hands with infected Coronavirus patients it’s all here! Guest appearance from Labour leader (and all round baddie Kier Starmer.
There’ll also be some classic fairground attractions like “pin the benefit on the claimant”, the burning of the Corbyn “guy” and of course dodgems! But strictly no U-Turns