Global Boring

I’m going to address this climate change hullabaloo once and for all. For too long the global elites like that Thunberg girl have prattled on about climate change till the cows came home and its time to ask the real experts. The man in the pub.

No one has his finger on the pulse of global issues more than the bloke down the boozer. We see and hear the stuff politicians like Sturgeon and Corbyn are too scared to print!

Me, Big Daz, Bowser, Slaghead and Karl the Peado (he’s not really a peado) have knocked our heads together and come up with actual scientific evidence that the whole things a myth.

  1. Myself, Bowser and Slaghead and Karl the Peado (he’s not really a peado) can remember about 125 days where it rained last year. Big Daz remembers around 130 days that gives us a average of about 127 days. This year we all reckon there’s been 156 rainy days. Now I’m now maths whizz but that is a steady increase. So no global warming there.
  2. Slaghead said that his car had frost on the windshield in the morning. So tell me this Dr Climate? How’s global warming a thing when we can see frost?
  3. Karl the Peado (he’s not really a peado) said that he’d been told by his cousins mate, who cuts the hair of one of the weather girls from the news. She said that the weather girl comes in to get her hair cut while wearing a jumper. Why would she be doing that if the Earth’s temperature is about to spring up?

Hopefully that’s not only put the issue to bed but has tucked it in, read it a bedtime story and checked the wardrobe for Communists. So next time your neighbour tries to stop you from burning Styrofoam boxes just laugh square in thier face and tell him what Karl the Peado (he’s not really a peado) told you.

Published by battlcomedy

General agitator. Probable traitor. Enjoys the finer things in life like Skol Super on a Sunday.

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