Bumble The Budget

The dashing form of Sunak cut a imperious figure today as the Spring budget was released from its briefcase like a pack of slavering wolves. Like hungry wolves the budget quickly devoured the doomongers and naysayers of the Liberal metropolitan elite.

I won’t bore you with details because I know you’re not a details person so here’s a brief recap of the important points:

No extra funding for students doing art degrees- for too long these bearded layabouts have whinged and cried for extra funding. Well guess what unless your art is building statues to our current politicians you can shove it. This bitterness does not come from the fact that accordian teacher stole my girlfriend three years ago. I mean what sorta job is that? You teach others to play the accordian for what? So they can teach others to play the accordian? It’s political correctness gone mad.

5p off fuel. Yes this might not look like much considering how much fuel has increased in the last few months. In fact it might look like a big middle finger to motorists but you’ve got to remember if Jeremy Corbyn was in charge you’d probably be in jail. So just be greatful to the Chancellor while you start your bracing six hour walk to work.

National insurance is getting a rise. Not sure what this means but I saw a couple of BBC presenters getting annoyed about it so it’s probably good news. Maybe it’s a Brexit benefit?

There were a few other odds and sods with some gutless Socialists bringing themselves to tears over whether or not they’ll be able to cook thier avacados and other exotic fruits. Let me tell you this: During the war we had to pull ourselves up by our boot straps and we were damm greatful for it! This is Sunaks war budget and we all need to tighten our belts except for our hard working MPs who are getting a £2k rise presumably as a thank you for all thier hard work

Published by battlcomedy

General agitator. Probable traitor. Enjoys the finer things in life like Skol Super on a Sunday.

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