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The Beast Of Burden

So big Nige Farage is flying up Lefty outrage charts again this week after being pictured with musical starlet Holly Valance and Donald Trump. Many are attacking the multi award winning Brexit hero for posing with such a controversial figure but, it has to be said, Valance is a reformed character these days (due to her kinship with Nige?) putting her wild partying days behind her.

Holly was widely known in the early 2000s for that song she did. You know the one. It was everywhere and the video made it look like you could see her chuff. Every hot blooded man in the UK knocked one out to her, it was maybe only myself that got caught in that hotel bar though.

Hollies gyrating and hypnotic rhythms no doubt infused an young fire brand called Nigel Farage with the strength he needed to fight Europe.

You see back when the rest of us were rolling around in our own flatulent stupidity Nigel had a vision. A vision of freedom. Of a sovereign people taking to the streets and pulling down the establishment in droves. A vision he fulfilled with Brexit. A true seismic movement that will be felt throughout history.

But Brexit is struggling under the weight of the metropolitan elite and their media cronies. Each day they stab a little bit more into the Brexit beasts side trying to bring it down. Each day a bit more of pure Brexit blood is spilt.

OK so there’s huge amounts of travel chaos at ports, airports and on the roads but you remoaning lefties are telling me Corbyn would have sorted all that out. What would he have done? Ban roads? Bet you climate attention weirdos would love that wouldn’t you?

Also apprantly the economy is wrecked which is why we’re getting all these price hikes and why my mum hasn’t put her house lights on for a month. You can’t be seriously blaming Brexit for that? Taxes are going up because so many Remoaners are hording cash in thier houses thus destabilising the pound and causing crashes. Its basic economic conditioning. Do your research

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Live Like This

This “cost of living crisis” is nothing but manufactured bunkum engineered by the violent left in a desperate attempt to hoodwink the hard working people of Britain.

Now I’m a level headed person not prone to getting overexcited but I can categorically state that there is no cost of living crisis.

Life is supposed to be hard. Its supposed to be unfair and its designed to weed out the weak and the moaners. Maybe if they put thier avacado dinners down and went to work they’d warm up a bit. It’s supposed to be cold in the morning but remember Captain Scott? He famously snapped three toes off, dead from frostbite, each morning before his trek across the poles. You didn’t see him complaining.

These Lords of loss that populate left wing newspapers would have you believe that the Internet or food is a basic right. Ha!

There was NO central heating at The Somme. NO WIFI in the cockpit of a spitfire. There was certainly NO hot food available to Wellingtons brave boys as they marched to Waterloo.

Freedom is a basic right and this government is making us freer than ever. Free of European interference. Free of moral responsibility. Freedom of speech (unless it’s against God, King, country, Brexit, Nige or flags).

You can’t go around subsidising peoples heating bills willy nilly because people will never learn for themselves. Yes you may be 75 but you can still pull a shift as a car park cleaner or a emergency air raid warden.

So Britain get off your knees and embrace Conservative freedom!

Bumble The Budget

The dashing form of Sunak cut a imperious figure today as the Spring budget was released from its briefcase like a pack of slavering wolves. Like hungry wolves the budget quickly devoured the doomongers and naysayers of the Liberal metropolitan elite.

I won’t bore you with details because I know you’re not a details person so here’s a brief recap of the important points:

No extra funding for students doing art degrees- for too long these bearded layabouts have whinged and cried for extra funding. Well guess what unless your art is building statues to our current politicians you can shove it. This bitterness does not come from the fact that accordian teacher stole my girlfriend three years ago. I mean what sorta job is that? You teach others to play the accordian for what? So they can teach others to play the accordian? It’s political correctness gone mad.

5p off fuel. Yes this might not look like much considering how much fuel has increased in the last few months. In fact it might look like a big middle finger to motorists but you’ve got to remember if Jeremy Corbyn was in charge you’d probably be in jail. So just be greatful to the Chancellor while you start your bracing six hour walk to work.

National insurance is getting a rise. Not sure what this means but I saw a couple of BBC presenters getting annoyed about it so it’s probably good news. Maybe it’s a Brexit benefit?

There were a few other odds and sods with some gutless Socialists bringing themselves to tears over whether or not they’ll be able to cook thier avacados and other exotic fruits. Let me tell you this: During the war we had to pull ourselves up by our boot straps and we were damm greatful for it! This is Sunaks war budget and we all need to tighten our belts except for our hard working MPs who are getting a £2k rise presumably as a thank you for all thier hard work