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The Little Boats

Invasion! Enemy spotted off the coast! With a fleet of small warships battering our sacred shores on a daily basis our stoic Island nation is besieged.

Besieged by these tiny vessels of the dammed disgorging a tide of enemy combatants onto our beaches ready to storm inland and, no doubt, help to install a radical leftist dictator who’ll want to promote “mental health awareness”

It’s a reverse Dunkirk. A unkirk. Britain is being Unkirked as we speak but what can you the Great British people do to stem this tide. Like patriotic beavers building a dam of immigration control we must come together. Like myself with the TV we must seize control of the channel!

How can you help bold men like Mr Farage? How can you help YOUR country dig for victory?

1. Donate directly to Mr Farages personal wealth fund. Help get old Nige a pint to quench his parched mouth after a long day shouting at boat loads of invaders

2. Buy a vessel and get out there. Any stretch of water could be crossed by migrants on a rickity old piece of flotsam so we must be prepared. Take to the lakes, the waterways, the paddling pools and the slightly flooded fields of Blighty and remain vigilant.

3. Write to the Queen. The Queens a very busy woman with a lot to do. She might not even be aware of this crisis of epidemic proportions. She must be informed so she can bring back into force the Privateer law and we can makes our seas safe once again.

Stay safe. Stay vigilant. Buy British


The Mask Of Communism

Science has proven time and time again that it can’t be trusted. The fact that “science” uses long, complex words like “photosynthesis” and “atom” to confuse and perplex British patriots on a daily basis confirms this argument beyond doubt. Science is wrong. Science is often done by men and women who are bearded and been bearded is a sign of cultural Marxisim. Would you let Lenin tell you what to wear? I sure as hell wouldn’t.

It is in this spirit of “denying the lie” that I will refuse to wear a mask when I visit the shops, get on public transport of go snorkelling. I will be informing everyone I meet who is wearing one that they are nothing more than a mindless sheep following a completely debunked pseudo-science theory.

Apparently something called “microbes” live inside us and can escape from our mouths when we breathe, a mask will help “catch” these “microbes”. I have NEVER heard such utter hogswash in my entire life. The looney left want us to believe that billions of tiny creatures live inside us and have the capability to make us sick? I know for a fact that I would know if there was millions of these “microbes” inside me and don’t you think we’d see them when we breathed out?

It’s funny that before all this started no-one had even heard of “microbes” before? All of a sudden we’ve got to wear masks to stop them escaping us? Because they’ve been living inside us for years? Bollocks. Leftist scientists have made up this “microbes” craze to cow down brave Brits most of whom are just trying to get Brexit done and protect our streets from roving paedophile gangs. They probably think if they can whip up enough hysteria it’ll stop the government shutting down all these Universities and other “Communist Conversion Centres” that have sprung up all over the country.

We the Great British people must not take our eye off the ball as these fifth columnists try and sabotage all our advancements in the last fifty years. They won’t be happy until we’re all under the red yoke of Moscow and Cossack dancing round our village greens.         

The Masks Of Fate

The “Looney Left” have today won a tiny victory in the face of an overwhelmingly close No-Deal (thank God) Brexit, a Conservative powerhouse government and patriots protecting statues all over the country, by getting Boris (Churchill) to admit that face coverings might have to be worn in shops.

For a start this capitulation to the bleating spawn of those left wing corruption pits (Universities) is a national disgrace akin to the longbowmen of Agincourt laying down their weapons and begging the French to molest their undergarments. An Englishman won’t have a frog in his pants and nor will he have a mask on his face!

There is not one shred of scientific evidence that proves wearing a mask will help reduce the spread of the virus. If there were it would have been published in the greatest scientific journal of our time: That little magazine you get in Weatherspoons. So why have the ranting hordes of the unwashed left forced Boris into this almost unprecedented climb down?

Jealousy? Almost certainly. Patriots and heroes have been in ascendance since 2016 and the saboteurs of the left are determined to make our glorious Brexit seem as difficult as possible. Now I’m not saying that Coronavirus was engineered by the left wing as a plot to destabilise the country so their Communist paymasters can roll a hammer and sickle up Oxford Street. But I’m not NOT saying that.   

Think about it.

  • Before Brexit no one had even heard of a Coronavirus
  • Brexit happens and all of a sudden Coronavirus appears

Legally I can’t state that it’s an almost 100% indisputable fact that Jeremy Corbyn both synthesised and purposely infected millions of people world-wide in an attempt to destroy Capitalism by damaging global markets. Although I cant say that this is definitely what happened you’ve all seen his beard so I think we all know the answer…..    

Well I tell you one thing: I won’t be wearing one in a shop or anywhere else the PC brigade have decided is “unsafe”. The brave Tommies in the trenches didn’t have any face coverings or “masks” to protect them from airborne threats. So if it’s good enough for the boys at the Somme it’s good enough for me.